365 days....

or 12 months in the life of Aiden.

This past week I have thought back often on the week leading up to Aiden’s birth. It was only a year ago, but in many ways it seems like a lifetime ago. Looking back those days seem simpler. We did not know what was ahead. The week consisted of pool visits, a trip to the science center, consignment sales and dinner swaps. The actual days with Aiden have flown by. It is hard for me to believe we will have a one-year-old. But the days that make up this year have been full. Often you will hear a year will change you, but there are days in this year that have changed us, even moments that have been life altering. It has been a hard year. One I am not sure I would repeat, but one I would not trade for another. It has grown us individually and as a family. It has humbled us. It has had us on our knees. We have shed many tears, but we have experienced true joy and peace that can only come when you’ve really experienced the Savior. When you realize that His hold on your life is true. When you realize He loves you even in the midst of fearing child birth, your son in the NICU, growing relationships, sleepless nights and long days that follow as well as being told that the one you love and have chosen to walk through life with is not well. If I am honest, I have wrestled with His love for me at times this year. I have struggled to surrender my fears to the only One capable of disarming them. But He has shown me time and time again He is faithful even when I am faithless. Even with its trials it has been a year full of blessings. We are changed because of this year. We have a new perspective. Not that we didn’t have a heart for God, but our eyes are more fixed on eternity. Time together is more precious, more sacred. Life is richer. We know our Father as one only does when they’ve been in the trenches together. We understand our need for Him daily. Not to mention we were given one of our greatest blessings this year, whom we will celebrate tomorrow. Because of this year, I know without a doubt, God is good…ALL the time. Thank you Lord for the blessings of this year, especially Aiden Caleb Sasser. May you continue to refine us and draw us near to you. May we not live for ourselves but may our eyes stay fixed on you.