Wednesday, August 17, 2011

His Grace...

This is not a post on the reasons I have not been blogging or even a post about these two cute little ones.

Although, there are many posts for each of those things and hopefully one day soon that will come to pass. But instead this is an update on where God has brought us as a family.

In July, Kevin and I had a few days at home without the children. Well, I was at home and Kevin was at work. I am a doer and usually I would have spent this time being productive, checking things off of my growing to-do list. However, instead I did something quite the opposite. I took time to just be. I told Kevin afterwards that I felt as if God was preparing my heart for something. I took the time without the children to be still, to listen and to allow Him to just breathe life into my being. It was a sweet time. And He surely was preparing me for something.

In the past year God has been stirring in my heart. I had in essence closed the door on believing He was big enough, but instead had put Him in a box or at least in terms of what He could do through our family. When learning just over a year ago that Kevin had MS, I quickly determined our family was complete. However, as God has a way of doing so, He slowly began to work on my heart. I do believe God would have been fine with us only having two children. But I also believe God wanted me to acknowledge my need for control and thus, my ultimate need to surrender to Him…in everything.

In terms of control, life seems somewhat out of control right now and thus, one of the reasons for this blog post. We would love to share in person with everyone that we will be welcoming another Sasser Baby into the world come March, but because the yuckiness and tiredness have hit full force, we decided we had better spill the news.

We have friends who have welcomed new additions to their families, which we would love to provide meals for, but we are doing good to get dinner on our table at nights. We have birthday parties and playdates we want to attend, but at a moments notice I am having to say, “no.” We decided we had better give reasons for our “no’s” and lack of committing to do much of anything now instead of waiting to see many of you in person at events already planned in the near future.

It finally hit me this week that we are 8 weeks pregnant and we had not shared the news nor had I even called my doctor. So, today I headed to the doctor at which the nurse looked at me and said, “Wow, we need to schedule your ultrasound for NEXT week.” We are really pregnant!

We are both excited and I think still a little in shock. As my sweet friends know, I do not get excited about newborns. I actually don’t even hold my friends’ children as newborns because I know I will have to hold mine and that is more than enough time with a tiny little one. But amazingly, I have seen babies recently and had the desire to hold them. I have been excited about what is to come----all of it, the good and the not so good times.

When we shared with my parents or rather my sister guessed that I was pregnant, my dad shared that he experienced things with my sister, their third child that he never would have experienced with my brother or me. We are looking forward to those experiences and God’s grace that will pour out of those experiences.

I wish I felt like I did a short week ago, hardly pregnant and our plans to share in person with many of you could unfold. We ask for you to pray for this pregnancy and for our family as we prepare to be a family of five. It is going to be a wild ride, but thankfully we are not ultimately in control! Thank you Lord!

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